SEMESTER 2 (S2): Meta-Reflection (600 words)

Semester two of first year went even quicker than I could have imagined. I had great intentions of being on top of everything, if not ahead of where I needed to be. However, my first reflection more or less set the tone for the rest of my semester to come. I have had to learn that things don’t always go to plan, life happens and there’s just not much you can do about it sometimes. I do however think that I have learned a lot from this year and will utilise my experience of this year going forward into second year. 

I was extremely nervous starting semester two with the thought of school placement and the Gaeltacht ahead of me. I was nervous that I wouldn’t enjoy placement and that my class would be difficult to handle. As for the Gaeltacht, I desperately want to improve my Irish but it is a source of severe anxiety for me as a mature student and one of the reasons I didn’t apply for teaching back when I was in school. For these reasons, I wanted to get ahead of my work so that I could support myself best in these areas that I felt most anxious. I was delighted to find that I felt quite comfortable early on in my school placement, however, I struggled more than I anticipated with lesson planning. I am a perfectionist and struggle to do things if I don’t know the correct way to do them. As a result, between coursework, lesson plans, assignments and personal life i.e. trying to work, maintain my routine in the gym and some issues in my personal life to deal with, I really began to struggle.

I had to take a step back. Straying from keeping on top of things was the last thing I wanted (and an additional stressor) but I wasn’t physically able to continue with the momentum I was going at. In regard to assignments and lesson plans, I  had to try and accept that I would have to learn through trial and error. Unfortunately, this meant that it took me a huge amount of time to do anything. The lack of productive use of time was extremely frustrating for me and while I have improved slightly, it is still an issue. I am currently in the Gaeltacht and have college work and assignments that require completing. In an ideal world, I would be giving full attention to my Irish because it is the subject I am most anxious about.

Going into second year, time management and organisation is going to be a priority for me. I am aware that the efficient use of time is paramount in teaching but also on a personal level, for my own well-being. I have made progress but optimising my time and energy in the most beneficial areas is something that I want to work on significantly going forward. Spending hours on end in every subject area isn’t productive or feasible. I can’t control external factors or the goings on outside of college but I can control how I deal with them. I intend to organise myself more thoroughly in advance of college next semester and enlist the help of others from within the college next year if I need it.

In conclusion, this meta-reflection may seem very negative, however, despite it having been a tough semester, I actually feel reassured in my competency within this course. I am now aware that aspects that were out of my control were the root of my troubles and not necessarily me or my shortcomings. Thus far, any worries that I had, I have managed to overcome and learn from. Placement and the Gaeltacht were two of my biggest course related hurdles and even though they were a source of a lot of stress, I have managed to tackle them successfully.